This is not actually going to be an ode.

Last year on the day before I left Paris, my friends and I rode around the city on bikes, hit up our favorite cafe, ate a gourmet lunch, and had a picnic underneath the Eiffel Tower. It was romantic and I was so ridiculously sad to leave.

Leaving New York this year is a bit different. First of all, because I know for sure that I have two more years here at least. But also because I have this mixed feeling of relief and anxiety about leaving. It’s like I both can’t wait to get out of the city, but also feel like I can’t live without it.

My favorite little community park in Soho.

I realized that New York City makes me feel like that a lot. Like I hate it and I love it. And I think that’s just the nature of this city. It’s disgusting and wonderful at the same time.

And while I’m feeling trepidation about going back to Coupeville–population of like, 2 people & 4 deer–I know that it will be good for me to get some sleep without being woken up by sirens or street fights on 3rd Ave.

Not only that, but I also have Paris to look forward to. For those who don’t know, I’m going to Paris in June/July for the NYU Writers in Paris program where I will be attending creative writing workshops with some amazing authors, including Zadie Smith!

A taste of Paris in China Town.

So I am sad to leave New York, even though it chewed me up and spit me back out this year. But as always, good things are coming. And in just a couple of months I’ll be back, sweating in that September heat and moving in to my new home in China Town.

XOLily