I’ve been 20 years old for a couple weeks now. I was anxious about it, like the switch from being 19 to 20 would suddenly solidify the fact that one day I am going to die. Which like, was gonna happen whether I turned 20 or not, so….

Irrational thoughts and I are dating.

Had birthday pie at The Blue Stove in Brooklyn where they had these sweet flowers.

Then I decided to think of turning 20 like updating an iPhone.

Inside, of course, I haven’t changed at all. One day makes very little difference, and I do still feel like a child. I think I always will. In fact, Emily and I were talking this weekend about how we think no one (not even the President or Beyonce or anyone) ever really feels like they are an adult. Insecurity is just a thing humans have.

But why not use the switch from teenager to “in my twenties” for a little outside updating? Like updating the apps.

The answer to this query is, of course, to go visit your BFF in New Hampshire and have her dye your hair a little bit. Because your BFF also happens to be a cosmetologist turned nutritionist with bright red hair. (Ok, so maybe not everyone has as cool a BFF as I do, I’ll admit it.)

This was before we went out for Mexican food and ate so much that we could not move for like two hours, no joke.

I’d like to mention that Emily and I ALMOST got matching tattoos this weekend but then decided to save our money to put in a 401k or something. So mature!

Here are some of my favorite moments from being 20 so far, besides noticing that my body is quickly deteriorating:

Hanging out at Tumblr HQ w/ these two cool people.

Going to see Jukebox the Ghost and eating breakfast foods after. Caitlin & I being: a. ) cool b.) funny    c.) awkward. d.) all of the above.

Hearing Catherine sing about Paris and getting all nostalgique about it.

Prancing/limping around Portsmouth with Emily!

Hair. Red? Purple? Idk. (I took this selfie while walking to the library and I tried to be casual about it by pretending to take a photo like a tourist, but the thing is there was nothing cool in front of me that I could’ve been taking a photo of, so it was kind of pointless.)

I also made a few goals for being 20:

1. Succeed academically while remaining mentally stable

2. Do what you want

3. Write more, read more, dance more

(I’m sorry that this post is offensive to anyone older than 20, because it is basically me complaining about being old when in actuality I am still quite a young’un.)

XOLily