i.e. life advice from an 18-year-old girl living in Paris.
(Many of these were inspired by my favorite book “Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination” by Helen Fielding.) (Remember nothing is original.)
- Never panic. Stop, breathe, think.
- If something causes you to have anxiety do it in a way that causes you the least amount of anxiety, even if it makes you seem socially awkward. If there is no way to do it without extreme amounts of anxiety then refer to rule number one.
- If you’re afraid to do something, do it anyway. If you don’t end up doing it because you’re too scared then see rule number 4.
- Never regret anything. If you start to regret something then think “but if I had done it that way, then I might’ve been hit by a bus.”
- Wear the color that matches your mood. If you are angry or sad, wear all black. It will make you feel powerful. If you are happy wear something bright, like pink, because it will most likely make you even happier. If you are a range of emotions then wear a bunch of different colors because that will at least confuse other people.
- Wear whatever shoes you like and refer to rule number 4 when you have bloodied blisters on your heels.
- Only buy something if it makes you feel like doing a small dance.
- Never change the cut or color of your hair before an important event. Likewise, don’t change your beauty regimen in case you have an allergic reaction to that new cream you started using.
- Wear what makes your body look good. Don’t worry if nobody else is wearing it because nobody else has a body that is exactly the same as you.
- If you start to worry what other people are thinking about you then remember that they too are worrying about what other people are thinking of them and therefore are way to busy thinking about that to be thinking about you and how your shirt doesn’t match your shoes.
- If you feel sad do something. Put lipstick on. Go for a walk. Buy bread and eat it. Watch your favorite show. Read a book.
- Sing as much as possible.
- Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. (That of course applies to these rules. If you’re reading them and thinking to yourself, “How come she gets to tell me how to live my life?” then you are absolutely right. Disregard these rules and create a set of your own. Or not. Whatever.)
- When traveling pack lightly and talk to the people sitting next to you on the plane.
- Don’t feel bad because you like to be alone. (Or get a cat. That way when people ask if you get lonely, you can say that your cat keeps you company. )
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